I can't cope after abortion, what do i do?

Dear Ella. I had an abortion just over four weeks ago now when I was around 8 weeks pregnant. I didn't want the abortion but really it was for the best, my boyfriend and I are too young for that kind of responsibility and although we always used contraception accidents happen and we had to deal with it. He was definitely against keeping the baby and I convinced myself if was the absolute right thing to do and so I went ahead and had a medical abortion. First of all I never expected it to be so painful! Although the bad pain only last a couple of hours no one warned me it would be like that so I was convinced something was wrong with me...but within a few days the cramps and bleeding had died down. I was ok emotionally for the first few days, kind of relieved, still upset but aware that I had done the best for all involved. However for the past couple of weeks I have felt absolutely terrible. I feel so guilty, I spend hours and hours crying at a time and feel completely lost. I can't eat, sleep, concentrate. I decided to see the doctor for some help, I hate being so unhappy. The doctor referred me to a BPAS counselor where I had my abortion and that's tomorrow. I just hope it helps. Every day is a struggle, I feel like I can't cope and have so little support. The only people I told were my mother (who I don't feel able to talk to about this ongoing depression) and my boyfriend. My boyfriend has been acting funny with me the past few days and I know I've pushed him away a bit and have been emotional and upset a lot of the time but surely he can realize why? I've gotten to the point where I can't even talk to him, I'm convinced he'll dump me. I put on a facade every time I see him, pretend I'm coping and this just makes things worse when I'm alone- I completely breakdown. I have never felt distress and regret like this. I know that if I had continued with the pregnancy my boyfriend and I probably would have ended up separating...I did what I did because I chose him and love him that much. I don't think i could have done it on my own. I really truly do regret it now though, I don't know how to go on. How has everyone else coped? Does the guilt and shame ever stop? Please help